The Patron’s 2016 Year End Review – Part 2: My Worst Five

My Worst FIVE of 2017

Some explanation is required here. Though I have given more than enough 2 stars (or less in one case) reviews this year, some films that I rated 2 ½ stars, I now feel, are more criminal and reprehensible on reflection many months later. Perhaps I was dazzled by the hype or the fancy production at the time, but now with a bit more space and time to cogitate, I would probably rate them lower. So I think it’s only fair that I give them their due (dis)credit here. But first, three films that I hated back then, which I still do now:

La Noche is the biggest waste of space of this year’s London Film Festival. A bloated, indulgent affair that I only sat through the 2 ½ hrs so that I can say for certain that there is no redemption in the final minutes of the film. This was a 1 ½ star film and remains so.

Son of Saul is simply unbearable. Not only is it a headscratcher but it is also a headache from start to finish. I just do not get the accolades it got, nor the Oscar. Let’s just agree to disagree here.

There is nothing to disagree here. In a year that gave us Batman v Superman and X-Men: Apocalypse, Suicide Squad is pure disappointing lameness with glitter randomly and cynically splashed over it. Harley Quinn, ie. Margot Robbie is great but totally wasted in this half-baked film.

While films like Blair Witch, Girls on the Train and ID2: Resurgence were also rated 2 stars, I find 2 higher rated films irritated me even more, so much so I have decided to break with tradition and name and shame them here. If I can, I would downgrade their ratings to a 2 or less.

How Richard Linklater can follow the emotionally rich and narratively sublime Boyhood with the pointless, vacuous and largely stupid Everybody Wants Some! is beyond me. Even the title is irritating – just look at that undeserved exclamation mark. A sign of forced excitement and fun if I ever see one as the film is anything but that.

And finally, the film that irritated me from the very beginning of the year and of which I am still fuming 12 months later. I watched The Danish Girl due to the Oscars nominations, but the film is shambolic and predictable. It might look glossy and well-presented but there is nothing else there. It is, in other words, a fake. Just like Eddie Redmayne and his stupid hand-acting. And it doesn’t help that the trailer tells you literally every twist and turn of the story.

Rant over. Your move, 2017.


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